That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
