Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
