she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
