the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
