i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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