I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
