Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
