Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
