Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it glows. i had to have it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
