theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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