you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
bring money and cleavage
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
