I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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