Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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