YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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