Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm at about main and main street
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
