omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
