Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
