I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
