Buhtt sex?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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