just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
