My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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