Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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