I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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