Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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