nut hugger
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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