I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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