Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
