I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
