Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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