We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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