Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
