Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
