The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
