these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
