How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
