He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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