If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
