At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
