It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
