Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she woke up with a sticky ear
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
