Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
worst night to have a conscience
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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