It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
