So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
