So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
