So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
