I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
