she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
