Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
