winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
