This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
