the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
and you fell through a lawn chair
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
